Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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