Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
This toilet bowl is my home.
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