the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
