scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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