He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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