i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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