Kareoke will never be a sober sport
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
