I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
