Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
