only if we run a train.
done.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
