to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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