So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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