with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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