Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just cut my nipple shaving
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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