that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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