Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
