I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
