sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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