So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
