I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
