I'm lost and stupid without you.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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