"it" just moved
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
