I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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