just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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