Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
