Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
