Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
