There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
