3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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