You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
