she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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