I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
