Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
