i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
