She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
