I swear she didn't look like that last week.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Randomize
