So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
