Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
