I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
