Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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