i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
