I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I feel great
I just peed on a car
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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