my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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