Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
