idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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