There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
