dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
