And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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