I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
