Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Quick, to the slutcave!
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
