If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
