My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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